It's a buggy world.

As happy and excited as I was to leave for the Peace Corps and to start my service and make a difference, I knew that at some point I would get overwhelmed and frustrated, and have to ride out the wave. I have learned from only being here for almost five months that there are definitely waves of highs and lows. I hit a low point last week with a lot of things happening at once and just feeling overwhelmed; overwhelmed with my project and with Guatemala. To begin, I had been going on my school visits each day, getting two done a day on average. The more schools we visited, the more I realized how much they all lacked. No water, kids coming to school dirty, no money, no motivation. I started to realize that I was telling each school we were there to work on hygiene and also, hopefully, water projects for those schools that didn't have water. Well, almost all of my schools don't have water. So that's when I realized that there is no feasible way in getting all of our schools water. Impossible in two years. So then I felt like I was lying to them and felt guilty. That was the start of my low week. Then, I got fleas in my bed. Fleas are not fun. My ankles, feet, and arms were covered with flea bites that would not stop itching no matter how much I scratched them. As if that weren't bad enough, I had to deal with the problem of getting rid of them...in Guatemala. Not an easy feat. I ended up having to buy lots and lots of an insecticide spray and spray EVERYTHING. I sprayed my blankets, my clothes, and my mattress, twice. I had to sleep on my floor for three nights. I was itchy, upset, defeated, and felt dirty. Then, I had to deal with an influx of spiders in my bathroom and the random, giant cockroaches that decide to visit my bedroom. The amount of bugs here in Guatemala still impresses me day to day. Where do they all come from?? By the end of the week I had felt hopeless, defeated, and wanted to move to a place of my own where I could feel like I had more control over my surroundings. 

Well, you will be happy to know that I survived my low week and things have turned around since then. After finishing all my initial school visits finally I have found that we have a group of some really great schools that have a lot of potential. And, in reality, that is all that matters. Having a few good schools I can really focus on is what can make my service here effective. Doesn't mean I will discard the rest but it does mean that I can get something done with some, while others struggle to make a move. I've also realized that I'm not expected to bring all my schools water. Healthy Schools is supposed to be a 15 year program and we are just starting it here in my district. Therefore, whatever we don't get done it is hoped that the replacing volunteers in the future will. As to the bug situation, I think I have exterminated the fleas. I have slept in my bed two nights now since the flea week and so far, so good. I'm keeping my fingers crossed they don't come back. All the other bugs were easy to control with a little bit of spray. I no longer feel dirty or defeated. Hooray! As for wanting to move, well, I found a pretty good deal. The woman whose house I live in now is building a small house right next door on her property. She told me if I liked it she could have it finished be built for me to move into. Well I most definitely liked it and the building has ensued, so I should have my own space soon and I am so looking forward to it! Patience, patience, patience.

Now, my worries are focused on the violence going on in Guatemala. Drug cartels are getting feisty and a lot of murders are taking place nationwide. The department of Peten has now been declared in a state of siege. Ever since that siege was declared by the government a week ago, things over here in Alta and Baja Verapaz have been getting worse. Murders and arrests of drug cartel associates are taking place and it is not comforting. Things are happening too close to home and it makes us all wonder what is going to happen next. I am under the impression that Peace Corps is keeping close watch on all the recent events and are investigating on security issues, yet, communication is lacking a bit right now. Perhaps, though, that is because our regional security meeting is next week and we might as well discuss everything in person. Regardless, I am hoping things turn for the better because I really like my site and would hate to have to leave due to safety and security issues. I do want to let my family and friends know, though, that I am safe and not to worry. 

I hate that this entry was a bit depressing and bleak but I want to reflect all the experiences I go through to give you a better idea of what my life as a Peace Corps volunteer is like. Not every day is happy and feels like you are going to save the world. You hit your slumps and gotta stick it out until you feel able to get back on your feet again and realize everything will be okay. You will always miss certain comforts from home, such as bug-free bedrooms, the abundance of water in schools, clean kitchens, etc. But those things are waiting at home and will always be there until you are ready to go back. To leave off on a happier note, I am going to leave a couple of pictures from some of my hikes to schools. My schools seem to be in one of two environments:1. Mountainous, agriculture-rich land covered in green vegetation. 2. Tropical, cloud rain forest land teeming with rivers, birds, and flowers. So enjoy the beautiful views I am so blessed to see everyday. 

“Real life isn’t always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach